flower garden when you were two

You are about a week and a half into being two-years old. Look at those big brown eyes and your sweet smile.

Hi Sweetheart,

Yesterday, we picked the last of our flowers from the flower garden in our backyard. Sharing this weekly, sometimes daily ritual has been such a beautiful part of motherhood for me. We put our boots on and you hold my hand to step down the back steps and walk on the pavers. You used to have to stay very close to me at the beginning of the summer, and I watched your steps more carefully. Three months later, you are more independent. I cut the flowers ("with purple scissors) and you take the bloom and put it in the jar with water. Sometimes you tell me which one to cut. 

Some days we will name a person to pick a flower for, and you show me which one they would want. 

You added a stick to our last arrangement for the summer. I love that you did that.

Any time I can feel like we are best buddies on an important adventure together, my heart fills with pride and joy. You are so fun to know. You grow peaceful when you're outdoors. You always have. Even as a crying new baby, we'd take you outside, and you'd calm. I guess that's some handy knowledge for your middle school years, teen years, college years, early career years, and even early motherhood, should you go that route. 

Outside has always calmed me too. I feel loved outside. Like the world was made for small pleasures and simple beauty. 

Here are some photos from our adventures this summer. I bought a book on growing cutting flowers, and I am going to try to plant an even more prolific and fun garden for us next year. I cannot wait, and I hope you still want to hold my hand when we go out. It's my favorite. 

I love you,

Momma 

Right Before You Were Born

Harriet,

This is what your house looked like right before you were born. We packed our bags and your bag, and we knew we'd come home completely different people–parents. 

Look below, that's you in my belly. You were so big and strong. I sometimes miss having you in there, and at the same time, I cannot believe you lived and grew in me. How life works is weird and amazing.

Your dad is writing thank you notes for gifts we received for you. He's the type of guy who takes things off the plate of those he loves. I think it's cool when couples balance each other–where one doesn't mind writing thank you notes, the other likes to do another important task. 

I guess that is all. I love you so much.

Mom

August 21, 2015

With Ryan by my side, I gave birth (I GAVE BIRTH! Weird!) to our baby girl at 1:41 am on Friday, August 21, 2015. Harriet Louise Daly. 

The nurses put her tiny, wiggly, sticky body on my chest, and I squeezed her to my heart and felt all over her with my hands. I waited my whole life to see what my baby would look like, and it felt like a long time (probably only under an hour) before I got to see her face. The nurses had me hold her close, and I was unsure of when I could pull her out and away from me enough to see her. So I just felt her firmly, trying to understand her and the wild moment our family was in together.

I felt awe. To think we can really make other humans is still just madness to me. It seems like a silly concept. Ryan and I made a person. Her little body lived in my body. I tell myself these things all the time, and smile and shake my head. It's like the first time I saw lettuce growing in a garden- just wondrous and magical and a miracle. Something, someone, so real from nothing–well, two people who couldn't shake the curiosity of having a family, two people who adore one another.

She was due on August 18, and we were scheduled for an overnight induction the next day. We were supposed to come to the hospital at 8pm on Wednesday night.

Ryan and I both took Wednesday off from work, and we spent the day together trying to relax and enjoy each other's company. We went to Foolish Things Coffee for lunch, Ryan wrote thank you notes for baby gifts, and I worked on Harriet's mobile. My parents stopped by for a hug and kiss. We finished cleaning up the house, and we took Walter to doggie daycare. We had plans to eat pasta for dinner; I wanted to carbo load like I did before running a marathon. We were nervous and giddy, but mostly nervous. Scared. Excited.

I got a phone call at 4pm from the hospital asking us to not show up at 8 anymore, but to call instead to see if they had enough room. There were so many people having babies that all the rooms were taken, and they didn't know if they'd have space for us. We were very disappointed by this news, and nervously ate through dinner and came home to sit on the sofa and wait until 8 when we could call. We called, and they were full still. They said they would call at 10 to tell us if we could come in.

We were so full of nerves, we couldn't sit on the sofa any longer, so we drove to the mall and stress bought some clothes for our baby- a little dress with deers on it and a pair of pants with cats all over them. We also got a Sonic drink and drove around until 10:30 with no phone call. So I called them. They were still full. And they were going to call us some time that morning to come in and have our sweet baby. It felt so unreal and nerve-racking. We went home to sleep. But I didn't at all. We got the call at 4am, and went to St. John Hospital.

They started my labor, and other than one scary moment when all the nurses gathered around the monitors and were mumbling in concerned tones, it all went well. It turns out my contractions rose, but never fell. The doctors figured out what to do, and things started progressing.

Eventually Harriet came at 1:41am. I was amazed that my body just opened up and let her out. Ryan and I were parents. We are parents. To the most lovely, beautiful little baby girl. Harriet Louise Daly.

Life will never be the same. And we wouldn't want it any other way.

Things we bought for you

You're getting close now - weeks not months. We've had two showers, and we've ordered all the things we need that we didn't get as gifts from the people that love you. But by far my favorite things that we've bought for you we actually bought as gifts for one another on Mothers' Day and Fathers' Day.

What I got for your mom - Cat Stevens' album Tea for the Tillerman. When we were first dating your mom and I would listen to this album and sing along to two songs, "Wild World" and "Hard Headed Woman". I think both of them describe your mom. "Wild World" is written as advice to a naive young girl to remember that it's hard to get by on a smile. Your mom has a beautiful spirit and a sweet way like the girl in the song. "Hard Headed Woman" is about a man who's looking for a hard headed woman - someone who will challenge him.

What your mom got me - a tiny pair of Vans sneakers that look just like the ones that your mom and I have. I like to picture putting them on you before I wrap you around me and take you on all my Saturday errands - getting a coffee at our favorite place and chatting with the owner and his daughter, the flea market, the record store and bringing your mom lunch at Retro Den. We can be little twinkies.

I can't wait to cart you around with me and play this record for you when we're up fussing at night.

We love you, Harry Lou!
Dad

Like your daddy

I read an article recently where the female author notes that one thing she didn't expect in motherhood was the extreme pleasure of seeing her husband in her child. She writes that she loves her partner more than anything in the world and had never imagined the joy of having more of him in another little person. 

Sweet Harriet,

I love your daddy to the moon. He's my very best friend, and every day and everything is better because of him. I will love you for you, but I already adore that you are one half the exact same makeup as the best person I know. Here are some things I hope you get from your pops.

His kind, kind heart. He's so considerate of me and those close to him. Ryan Daly gets you sensitive toothpaste if he hears you mention your gums started to hurt a little. 

His industrious spirit. Your dad wakes up each day and does stuff. He almost always makes your mom breakfast because he knows I may not eat as healthfully if he doesn't (He makes me "toad in the hole" or, as I call it, "egg in the basket." We'll feed you it too someday.). He goes to his job each day, and I marvel as he seems to get so much out of learning, contributing and making progress there. He works out most days to take care of his body. Then he comes home to make dinner and spend time with his wife, puppy and soon-to-be you. He can be busy and not anxious, and I really admire that about him.

His cheeky sense of humor. We laugh every day, often. We share a nuanced outlook on life, and I am certain you will be one of us. And our inside jokes will become secrets for three instead of two. We plan to be quite charmed by you and with you.

His musical ability. Your momma loves to sing, but cannot clap on the beat without some help and focus. I hope you are like your dad and can play instruments. It's ok if you can't; Mom still enjoys music, and we can listen to your dad together. He already wrote you a song, by the way.

What we hope most is for you to be kind and honest with yourself and others. We promise to devote our lives guiding you to this and holding ourselves to the same standard.

We love love love you!

Momma

The name Harriet Louise

It's so strange to know what I'm naming my first child. I remember thinking about that so much as a kid, looking at baby name books and trying out names on my dolls. My American Girl doll like me was named Hannah Nicole Heider. 

People have asked why we picked Harriet Louise. Ryan and I decided to throw out names for a few months and see what stuck. We'd be walking into the kitchen and say, "Alice?" And if the other didn't respond poorly or was positive, it stayed in the running. We'd say it again a few days later and see how we felt then too. Harriet pleased us. It made us smile. It's like naming our dog Walter. Smiles all around every time we say his name. 

I also personally loved the book Harriet the Spy, and the first movie Ryan and I watched together had a woman named Harriet as the female lead, So I Married an Ax-Murderer. Disclaimer, that's a comedy, and, we didn't name our baby after a real murderer. I've got some looks when I mention the movie. Your disapproving expressions say more about your lack of classic movie knowledge than my misstep as a mom. I fondly remember holding Ryan Daly's hand in 2007, drinking spiked hot cocoa, and watching silly movies together. It was the night he realized we were dating. I knew for a while, but he didn't. That's another story for another post.

Louise is a family name, my dad's grandmother. And we enjoyed the idea of calling our baby girl Harry Lou. I'd loved how Nancy Drew's best friend, a female, was named George. Our little Harriet can be a tomboy or a girly girl or a judge or a hippie, or all or none of the above. Her call. 

Harriet, sweetheart, we just want to smile about you. Life is for fun and giving your child a cheerful name that will always remind us to be light-hearted towards you, no matter the situations we find ourselves in together. Thanks for being ours, sweet Harry Lou. 

A little bit about us

We wanted a spot to share about our life endeavors together. In August, we'll have our first child, a little girl named Harriet. We can't wait to meet her and teach her to love the world.

We both have writing degrees from the University of Oklahoma. His is from the journalism department and mine from the English department. To fellow writers, that may explain us a little. Mostly, we share the same heart for being kind students of our lives.

Together, we spend our days doting on our wooly dog Walter, eating yummy food, attempting some minimalism, sending each other cute animal videos, and being best friends in love.

Ashley's words about Ryan: 
Ryan is a ginger currently sporting an adult mohawk. He's my best friend who makes me laugh constantly. He loves to garden and cook, and that is pretty great for me too. He works in the creative department for a super cool company. He's the singer/guitarist for a little band called The Fabulous Minx. There is no better human to ask for advice or comfort; I often just hand the phone over to Ryan when a friend calls about a difficult situation. Ryan is my cop-out for so many things in life. Everything is better when I'm with him. He's my home and heart.

Ryan's words about Ashley:
Ashley is a sweet Greek girl who at the moment is very, very pregnant. She caught my eye in college when, on a Friday afternoon, she had to pick up a last minute assignment for the college paper to come shoot pictures of my friends and I drinking beer at our favorite bar. As mad as I'm certain she was that she had to work on what should have been her day off, she still stayed around to drink a few pitchers of cheep beer and let me chat her up. I remember one time when we were eating lunch in the newsroom, long before we were dating, and I told her confidently that I wasn't going to settle down until I had made it through a long list of goals and adventures. She told me she always thought loving someone meant having a partner to help you accomplish your goals and share in your adventures. I'm glad she was right. She's one of the bravest people I know, though she would never think it of herself. Three years ago she stood in a busy airport and decided then and there to quit what was shaping up to be a pretty decent career in marketing to buy a vintage furniture store with her friend. She introduced me to my bandmate, Noah, and made sure that we played together the first time, and that I put time and effort into our music, which she thought was worthwhile. She has stood by my side through all of my fascinations, career choices and half-finished house projects. She's my favorite.